So… much data… can’t hold on…

/deep breath

My children take their breakfast one room over from my web wave-catchin’ terminal. I prefer to “hang-10” in the den, if you catch my meaning. And so it was that, this morning, my children got to hear, muffled through the thin wall that seperates my domain from their breakfast table, the deep, stacatto pounding of my evil overlord laugh. It leapt, unbidden, from the depths of my chest and filled the house upon my reading of these words.

I “mu hu wa ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA” ‘d my way through the rest of the morning. My children scurried hither and yon, hoping to avoid being tossed into the Pit O’ Flame for kicks by this nefarious creature that their father had become.

Made my goddamn morning, it did.

I love being right. Have you heard? Have you heard? Sun & Google have aligned.

What’s more hilarious than the news itself is the effluviant skree (to borrow a word from the title of this blog) that it generated. Hyperbole? Absolutely.

As far as I can tell, very little has actually happened. Here’s Fortune’s take on it, which seems nice and balanced; in short, everyone’s pretty excited, but very little concrete has come out of this alignment.

Some folks are, in fact, taking issue with the whole thing. Which, as experienced media watchers know, is a fine indication that something might actually come of all this bru-ha-ha.

Regardless. Clearly we don’t know much right now. Except, of course, for this:

“The American internet search group said that the deal would bolster distribution of Sun’s OpenOffice software, which offers similar programs to those available on Microsoft Office, such as word-processing software.”

(taken from the Times Online)

Readers of this site have heard me pray to various gods and powers for the day when Google would give me a version of MSWord that I could use with a browser, from anywhere. It appears that the Google gods are kind and just (at least, for now), and want to do just that. And, clever monkeys, they seem to want to do that with a product that already exists.

I {heart} Google.

BUT!! For cryin’ out loud. If you can believe it, that’s actually only the first piece of remarkable news to hit the stands this morning.

I love being right. Have you heard? Have you heard? The EA lawsuit got bought out–I mean, settled.

This one I haven’t spent much time on. I used to work for those yahoos, see, and it didn’t seem like a good use of my time to blog about how much it sucks to work there, when other folk have done such an admirable job of that already.

That said, anyone with a passing familiarity with the way EA does business will not be startled at my opinion on how this particular lawsuit would (and will) pan out. It goes something like this:

  1. EA will buy out the plaintiffs to prevent a judgement from being entered. This is prudent, and the right thing for EA to do for its own preservation.
  2. Alas, this will leave the actual law unclear, and will leave the door open to future abuses.
  3. EA will engage in future abuses, in part as a knee-jerk retribution against being ashamed in public. Still unable to make significant changes on their teams, managers will find themselves speaking the words “Well, you guys wanted to be hourly, so… I don’t know what to tell you.”
  4. Working conditions will worsen, EA’s profits will increase, and the hourly workers will experience increasing resentment over their small slice of the pie (even though that was the deal they signed up for).
  5. The hourly workers will eventually call IATSE (the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Moving Picture Technicians, Artists and Allied Crafts), and the drive to unionize will begin.
  6. (This may or may not actually improve things. It entirely depends on who’s in charge and what issues galvanize the membership.)

But, as a friend of mine just said, “Yeah, here’s my prediction: the sun’s going to fucking rise tomorrow morning.” 😉