History (and a quick browse through the database of posts on this site) will show that I tend to publicly humiliate myself in blog form when I have something on my mind. Something… unpleasant, usually. Volume 1 of this blog (for example) could be summed up as “the darklord plays a lot of World of Warcraft, and then has a revelation about his rapidly increasing weight”. The outcome of the tale was a happy one, and, two years later, I’m still free from both previously mentioned lunacies.
Which is not to say that I am sane. Quite to the contrary. In many ways, my being forced to directly confront my “issues” with various (legal) consumables has made the problem worse. How? Visibility.
Having climbed up the hills of my subconscious some, I now have a rather sprawling view of my Valley Of Behavior, and… dear god, is that a crater over there? There’s a whole town on fire down there, and the roads are being chewed to pieces by lumbering things… it just isn’t pretty. Seemed okay when I was down in the weeds, ignoring it all, but I no longer seem to be graced with the inability to notice how my obsessiveness bleeds over onto (and hurts) the people around me.
Damn this conscience. Life would be simpler without it.
Too vague, I know. It’ll have to do for now.
Ciao. Been nice seeing you again! Been too long, really.