Paladins Can Too Farm


I’ve been playing a lot of World of Warcraft.

Now, you must understand: I was playing a lot of World of Warcraft before, and I will (no doubt) continue to play a lot of World of Warcraft in the future (mmmmmmmm, Burning Crusade). So, we’re not necessarily talking about an increase in the amount of time I’ve been putting into it.

No, friends, what we’re talking about is more of a mental shift. A turning of the head, if you will. Something rather profound happened recently, and I’ve been… unable… to turn away…

To convey what this shift is, it’s important to establish a few key facts. Ready?

FACT #1: Paladin Do Not Do Damage

This is well understood. Paladins are tough mombajimbas, it is true; in fact, many would say that they are well nigh un-killable, when stacked against the other classes. They wear plate, they heal, they have invulnerability options… yeah. Tough cookies. The do not, however, pose any kind of immediate threat to anything near them.

Oh, sure, they’ll kill ya. It’ll just take three minutes. Plenty of time for you to summon a bunch of friends. “Hey, I’m being attacked by a Paladin!!” “Okay, we’ll just finish up this dungeon run, and head over and help ya! We should be there before your health gets to 30%!”

FACT #2: I Play A Paladin

I have proof. I’m just not going to show it to you.

FACT #3: Farming Gold With A Paladin Is Like Watching Paint Dry

Easy enough. The problem here is that the amount of time that it takes to bring a mob to yoke (which is to say, convert him from a damage-dealing threat into a loot-bearing corpse) as a paladin is significantly higher than the value derived from said corpse. Folks who haven’t played as a Paladin have a tendency to poo-poo this: to them I say go try it. When you wake up from your stupor, you’ll see what I mean.

FACT #4: Paladins Do A Lot Of Damage To The Undead.

This, I think, is not surprising.

Okay! Having established the facts, let’s introduce some new data.


Allora recently was convinced to respec into what is known as a “protection spec” pally (if you have a life, a “spec” is shorthand for how you have spend your “talent points”, which is the way in which you can customize your character’s abilities in this here “game”).

Basically, I was running a holy spec before, which made me a Healadin. I enjoyed this immensely, but it badly exacerbates the lack-of-damage problem described above.

I… really had no idea by how much, however.


Allora recently got herself some pretty handy f’ing equipment. Notice the amount of “I hurt you when you hurt me” stuff.


Suddenly, Allora can run around in the Western Plaguelands, aggro something like ten level 52-54 undead baddies, and then let them simply destroy themselves against her.

I. Can. Farm.

I’ve killed, say, 1,000 undead in the last few weeks. Help help, I’m trapped in a MMORPG!!

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4 thoughts on “Paladins Can Too Farm”

  1. I don’t think your readership finds your blog too boring, as you have a fair amount of comments right away when you try and assert the fact.

    Secondly, if you’re playing this WoW game all the time where the hell are you? I need someone (and let’s be honest…this is quite embarassing for me to ask…I need someone to help me kill things…so you know…wana help me kill things?


    Resto ftl.

  2. My “verification word” is “snegz”. I’m not sure what it means, exactly, but it sounds like something that would get you slapped in polite society.

    The thing about blogging is it’s like going to the gym. If you do it routinely, it’s great. But once you stop, it can be really hard to get going again.

    Point in fact – my own blog, which has stalled for a few months because I just can’t bring myself to write about my life as it currently stands: diapers, late-night wakeups, baby food, exhaustion, exhaustion-fueled-marital-discord, dog-going-insane-from-lack-of-attention, etc.

    And now that I’ve stopped, I can’t quite bring myself to start again until something really fucking momentous happens. I mean, otherwise it’s like “you didn’t blog for 3 months, and then you felt that *this* banal crap was worth writing about?”

    P.S. Glad to see you are still alive and kickin’ amigo.

  3. I find it interesting that you fell back into WoW the same week South Park had a WoW episode.

    I really make this observation just to highlight the South Park episode and to refer people to their favorite torrent sites so they can enjoy it if they have not already done so.


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