The Darklord And His Phone

Hello, guildies.

Those of you wondering what in the hell is going on here, I posted some info about who I am on my WoW guild website, and I wanted to include a picture. So, I sauntered over to the office bathroom (mmmmmm, white walls), took a snap, and then…

…spent TWO HOURS extracting the image from my goddamn phone. Let me say this: the level of technology interface design among the genus cellphonicus today is roughly where home computers were in, oh, 1914.

Wait, sorry. Bitter moment there. I meant to say 1990.

Those of you who subscribe to this website (all two of you) may remember that I managed to successfully configure said cellphone to email pictures out of it straight to my Gmail account. Yea, although this was true, somewhere between that then and this now my black magic configuration became curiously obsolete, and as of today I simply “Connect to server…” … “Connection failed”.

What. The. Fuck.

Whatever. That’s not the point. Point is, two hours and $29.99 later, I downloaded the Motorola Phone Tools. Fine. I give. I’ll pay your USB tax. Whatever. Just let me actually use the pictures I take with the camera you dangled, carrot-like, in front of my nose to entice me to buy this marvelous sexy phone of yours. They are of decidedly limited value to me on the phone.

Where was I?

Right! Hello, guildies! See, as I mentioned previously, I’ve stumbled headlong into this marvelous group of WoW players who have somehow failed to reject me (as one would reject a donated pancreas, or perhaps an airborne virus of some kind), and have allowed me to ride the wild train they have constructed. It leads to hell, this train, and there drop Teh Epix.

(I actually have earned both of those items. To this, I can only say… ZOMG. I litearally had gotten into a spot where I was assuming that, fifteen months of gameplay or no, Allora would never be bedecked with rare and marvelous purple gear. Epic gear. Turns out I was blissfully, wonderfully wrong on this account. I can only hope that I continue to be wrong in this.)

Anyway, the point of this post was the picture, and that goal was achieved long ago. At this point I’m merely entertaining myself with a keyboard, so I’ll wrap this up. Hello guildies, welcome, and thanks for having me along.

Apologies to those of you who thought I was a ch1x0r. As you can see, I’m not. 😉

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the_darklorde

I design.

2 thoughts on “The Darklord And His Phone”

  1. Reading the cell phone part of your post reminded me of something I heard myself say a week or so ago.

    “…all I can do on my phone is talk.”

    Right after I said that, I became aware, once again, that I was living in the future.

    I was ashamed that my tiny little portable cell phone was not equipped to take pictures, play games, or extract DNA.

    All I could do was talk to anyone I pleased as I shot down the road in a car with more computing power than the first Apollo rockets, while I listened to digitized rock-n-roll played by a lazer beam.

  2. First of all, are your guildmates aware that you are, in truth, just a hair over one meter tall, much like the dwarven warriors of lore?

    [sotto voce to the audience]
    The Dark Lord is a mite bit…uh…”sensitive” about the whole height thing. He’s even been known to claim that he’s actually above average height, but you’ll note that he carefully chose a spot to take his picture where there is absolutely no frame of reference, except a cellphone and his own preternaturally large hands.
    [/sotto voce]

    Secondly, what’s up with the whole “chick” thing? I wish I had a gold piece for every time someone figured I was a girl because my toon is female.

    Actually…now that I think about it, I could probably earn *lots* of gold pieces from that misconception… hmmmmm.

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